u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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