so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
