i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
