i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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