He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
