Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize