so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
