Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
