If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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