Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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