Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
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