its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
