Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
