WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Will you blow on my dice?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize