One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
