She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
