Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
