____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
This girl is more easily done than said...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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