Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
