Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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