what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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