he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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