TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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