It's like a parade of train wrecks.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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