god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
