How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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