Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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