just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
