He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
