just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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