So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
