do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
