I am puke
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
