when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Can you bring me the toilet please
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize