every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
