It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
