My friends, they love my intelligence
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize