He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just high enough for therapy.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
