Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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