is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
They left me at home... I'm a liability
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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