can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
