With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I need a hoe opinion
go on
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
