Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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