you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize