Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
