He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
