she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
