Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
