i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
