Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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