She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
