What did we do last night that was yellow?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
