spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
