This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
