where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
