Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
