A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
