Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
