Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I need a burrito and a hug.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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