it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
