he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My dick has a subreddit
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize