my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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