why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
