oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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