every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
