Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
